Let me set the scene.

It’s 1AM, you wake up to pee, and you decide to go grab some water on your way back to bed. You walk into the kitchen and bam. You’re greeted with a reminder about the amazing pasta that you have leftover from dinner.

You fight off the urge as long as you can, it’s 1AM after all, but you give in and find yourself twirling spaghetti on a fork in front of the fridge. Casual.

Orrrrr how about this little scenario —

It’s Sunday. 2:00 in the afternoon and you’re just now wiping the crust out of your eyes. You turn over to your phone (obviously) and see 14 text messages from your friends all asking the same hard-hitting question: “what the fuck happened last night?

You’re terribly hungover and decide that basic human functionality will not be apart of your day’s agenda, let alone finding the strength to cook a meal. Solution? Seamless, take-out, allll of the chips, and the mini twix bar that you found in your couch cushions. Today was a fucking wash, but you enjoyed yourself and feel okay.

Fast forward to the next day, and your eyes are met with an inflated version of yourself staring back in the mirror. All those carbs, man. All those damn freaking carbs.

The problem? Water retention. Lymphatic Drainage. Temporary weight gain. And we’ve ALL been there.

I tend to carry most of my bloat in my face. I’ve been this way my entire life, and for my entire life, I’ve absolutely hated it. I know that when I eat pizza dinner, the next day I’m going to have to deal with feeling like a human marshmallow, but somethings in life are just worth the discomfort, naw-what-I’m-sayin-sayin. (however now I make GG pizzas every day to get my pizza fix and rarely have to worry about the dreaded bloat anymore!)

ANYWAY – we surely all know my love for a contoured face runs madly (MADLY!) through my veins. I’m obsessed with face products, but especially ones that focus on anti-aging, tightening, lifting, contouring, filler-in-a-bottle type of shizz. It most definitely stems back to my lifelong struggle with water retention in my face, and for that, I feel I’ve earned an imaginary degree in educating others on ways I’ve been able to reduce the issue.

Seriously, I want to be lifted, tightened, and toned every. single. day, so I’m confident that I’ve tried almost every single product on the market.


I’ve been using this coffee mask for quite some time, and I’m just now realizing that I’ve never shared this magical elixir with you. It was brought to my attention a couple of weeks ago when I posted a photo on my Instagram Story about a Clarins mask I was using. This mask claims to de-puff, revitalize, and renew — like most of these types of masks claim to do. After using it for over a year, I can say for 100% certainty that it does work!! What doesn’t work about this product? It’s $60 price tag, and the fact that I was running out of product very quickly. The instructions advise you to use a thick layer of the stuff, and at $60 a 75ml jar, using a think layer of cream every time you’re applying it (every other day for me!) will leave you with an empty container quicker than you can order another one. ((tip: I ALWAYS order mine through ebates because then I get some $$ back for it and that makes me a v happy girl. NOT SPONSORED BTW, just adore that fucking service man.))

Anyway — coffee mask. *Stay on topic, Mel*

This coffee mask is an absolute dream. I can’t take credit for creating it since I found it on Pinterest about 3 years ago, but I have adapted it into my own form (which is easier btw!), and so that’s what I’ll be sharing with you today.

Yon only need 2 things (optional of 3), which I can almost guarantee you already have in your kitchen. Those two magical things are:

2 tbs Coffee + 1 1/2-2 tbs honey. 


You just mix it all up into a thick paste, slather it on your face for 20 minutes and pray that the FedEx guy doesn’t show up. Easy, right?

Plus, aside from this mask being both extremely cheap + convenient, it actually freaking works, and that’s the best part of all.

Are you a fan of face masks? I’m alwaaays trying new things and experimenting with my face (which I probably shouldn’t do), so make sure you’re following me on Instagram (especially my stories!) to see which I’m trying out next. 😉

pin it for later by hovering over this image:


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